Sunday 20 May 2018

Outsider or insider - more unites us than divides us.


As a confirmed and committed outsider I’ve never understood the attractions of fitting in with the like-mes. Is that arrogance because I think I’m so special; or the Groucho Marx thing of distrusting any club that offered me membership; or more likely an aversion to being stuffed into labelled box? 

   Not everyone lacks social glue. Kids growing up in urban ghettos get tattoo-ed into a gang, giving them a sense of belonging. Similarly the English upper-crust cling to a clique defined by school, marital and family connections, and, for the male of the species, business and leisure clothes cloned like military uniforms. 

   Nations also confer their own stamp of acceptance. The French are belligerently proud of their national traits and history, as are the Scots and many other races. Traditional kinships and attitudes are not easily given up even in the melange of a globalised world. 

   Which is a problem. If your identity depends principally on being an insider in – take your pick – your racial background or the Double Trey gang or the Eton Bullingdon Club then everyone else is an outsider. Clashes are inevitable as cultures and values don’t mesh. 

   And ‘culture’ has become one of these precious, trigger-sensitive words flashed up as a warning if anyone is foolhardy enough to criticise the actions and behaviour of ANother group. 

  So here goes. We (as in UK-ers) used to have a culture of hanging, drawing, quartering people and sticking their heads on pikes, sending little boys up chimneys, trading in slaves, never mind supressing women.  The French publicly chopped heads off. We stopped doing such things, got more civilized. It’s called progress.  Cultures change over time, usually painfully slowly, but sometimes accelerated by convulsive pressures. 

  What sparked this line of thought, well to be truthful detonated it to the forefront was a twitter exchange this week about whether a Niger man marrying a 12 year old bride should be condemned as a paedophile.  One bright Brit spark wondered whether in so saying we were imposing Western moral and cultural values as an act of colonial oppression. NO. Underage marriage and pregnancy shoots up the maternal mortality rate and for those poor girls who survive it can cause serious internal damage (fistulas). Go read Abraham Verghese’s novel Cutting for Stone. It’s barbaric, inhumane and mediaeval. It’s a human rights issue and wrong. 

   Cultural appropriation has become another buzz word as usually minority cultures object to their heritage being stolen and used in disrespectful ways - advertising sports teams or in fancy dress outfits. The fear being that the indigenous culture will be diluted and destroyed. 

   History matters, but I’m stuck in a dilemma going two ways at once. Many of our fashions, like three-piece suits were evolved from the styles of faraway peoples. We eat a global cuisine. In England the Romans came, left good roads behind, then the Germanic Anglo-Saxons invaded and the Druids disappeared over time. There’s always been a fluidity of beliefs and lifestyles which ebbed and flowed with the tides of time. The Tibetans were exiled from their homeland and spread their faith, suitably adapted to Western tastes, throughout the free world. Being ousted from their landlocked existence gave them more influence. 

   Western culture is slated for being too me-centric, partly a result of the growth of a more psychologically oriented mindset and in Europe because the carnage of two World Wars broke up the old extended family system. But it does mean identity resides to a greater degree than elsewhere in the individual rather than in the group. Which has its pluses and its minuses. On the downside there’s a lack of cohesion. But there is a greater degree of tolerance for individual expression; and along with it an intolerance of more restrictive lifestyles, perhaps because it reminds us of where we once were. 

  My wish is for a world like a Kandinsky painting, a glorious hotch potch of different colours and shapes, all swirling around to create an engaging whole – greater than the sum of its parts. More unites us than divides us.  Remember ‘everyone smiles in the same language.’


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